Volume V of the Dating Instruction Roundup has arrived! What tidbits of truth will this month bring?
Enjoy these short, sage snippets of input and encouragement on us:
We dare you to date outside the box. Ask leading questions – like Michele instructed in What To Tawk About. Discover each other through stories. Bring along something unconventional to spark an uncustomary conversation. The dates you will remember best are the ones marked by a bit of risk and a little whimsy – so have fun with it! (1/23/2016, Matchmaker Says: Cut The Small Talk)
A 2013 Gallup Poll indicated that while most Americans hoped someday to marry–if they hadn’t already –as many as 25% had no interest in ever doing so, concluding that marriage’s popularity is waning rather than waxing, with younger Americans most likely to harbor such disinterest. And a year ago, Pew Research Center concluded that changing values, economics and gender patterns have driven down marriage in America to record lows.
Since becoming a matchmaker almost a decade ago, I’ve experienced plenty of folks I’d characterize as exhibiting signs of a certain visceral fuzziness in this department, unsure of what they truly want even as they’re telling you in no uncertain terms that they KNOW. These people say they want to find a lifetime partner — and seem to wholly believe it, hence the hiring of a matchmaker — all the while hiding, (even from themselves) a latent fear of or aversion to commitment itself. “Commitment-phobe” is a much bandied about term, but I’ve seen this wolf of ambivalence in relationship-seeking-sheep’s clothing present itself in a surprising variety of guises. Here are some examples… (9/27/2015, Are you Dating to Marry?)
We’ve all heard it–if not in “have faith” form, then certainly in one of the others:
Find the silver lining
Never give up
Keep your head up!
God speedYour mother, father, sibling, and/or best friend has probably fed you this line too many times to count. Yes, it’s commonly used– and I argue that it’s also TRUE. I do not discredit heartbreak by taking this stance. Disappointment, rejection, disenchantment…these are are real things. I argue instead that although love and the loss of love can be extraordinarily painful, there is always the promise of new beginnings. If you want a new start, you can have one. You just have to be brave enough to go out and grab it.
See you at the end of July for Volume VI of the Dating Instruction Roundup.
Love wisely,
Valerie
Editor, Heartalytics