Mending Cupid’s Bow: Be A Valentine, Get a Valentine
Among many great things, including my birthday, February is the month of romance! Although it started as a less-than-romantic ritual in the Catholic branch of Christianity — fertility rites, wine filled soirees and hook-ups aside — the romanticism of the day is based more in literary history than in facts.
Nonetheless, Saint Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love that essentially encompasses many of the same activities. But for many, the lack of companionship, makes it a tough day to get through. Love, the most powerful of emotions, should be celebrated every day. However, Valentine’s Day puts extra pressure on even the most demonstrative romantic partners.
I know many of you don’t even want to think about Valentine’s Day, but in lieu of avoiding it, I suggest embracing it — because the truth is, you have yourself and that’s pretty great! Give the best of yourself to others (what a gift that is!). Whether you’re in a committed relationship, dating or single, each year…
…Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to show how inspired you are by love.
Allow the intent of the day to move you to be the Valentine you always wanted. So, how do you feel (and share) the love without thinking about the ‘lack’ in your life? Consider the following:
Be a secret admirer
There is no better feeling than to make someone smile and feel special. I’m sure at least once in your life you’ve received a small gift, a sweet note or kind gesture from an office pal or friend. Try gifting small tokens of appreciation to your staff, colleagues or members of your favorite organizations. It’s as easy as buying a bag of candy and leaving a few on someone’s desk or at a neighbor’s door. It’s especially fun if they don’t know it’s from you. A little love goes a long way!
Give love to those who love you
Parents, siblings, best friends, or people who generally show support when you need it most, need love too. Surprise them with something special, like flowers for Mom, family dinner, tickets to the movies or a new sweater for their pet! Volunteer to be a loved one’s Valentine. Seeing their reaction will be worth the effort and make you forget about any Valentine’s blues.
Go on that date!
Do you avoid scheduling dates on Valentine’s Day? Is it because you’d be meeting the person for the first or second time and you don’t want to send the wrong message? There is no hard rule for navigating this. Why not consider going on the date? It doesn’t have to be dinner. It can be drinks, coffee and dessert or even a group date where you both bring along a single friend. If the stigma of being alone really irks you, try something new and see what happens!
Show your good side
All couples have ups and downs. Sometimes holidays, especially Valentine’s Day, layers added pressure on a difficult situation. Let this be an opportunity to show how much you love them. If you’re going through a tough time, it may feel forced, but if you consider all the positive reasons why you love them and choose to be in a relationship, it’s a win-win! If necessary, schedule time for dinner, play a fun and sexy game or simply have a heart-to-heart conversation. No matter the status of your relationship, there is no better day to reconnect and strengthen the bond you share.
Love yourself
Of course, this is something you should do every day of your life. But if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, give yourself a little extra something! Book a massage, order takeout, or indulge in a dessert that you really enjoy. Naturally, this holiday is a good time for reflection — count your blessings and practice gratitude. If you didn’t get one started for the New Year, buy a journal and declare that this time next year you will be in a loving and supportive relationship. Think love towards yourself and watch it manifest throughout the year. This Valentine’s Day is best day to start!
(In) The Spirit of Love,
Rémy Boyd
