We live in an era of dating apps and swiping, an era where so many of the connections we forge can feel fleeting. After all, there are so many other potential options out there! But the fact remains that a lot of folks, including those in the LGBTQ+ community, still really want a committed partner. So, if you’re a gay person today, are there ways besides apps to achieve this goal? In this article, we’ll talk about some ways other than apps that you can find a real, committed partnership.
Everybody knows the pluses of dating apps. They’re convenient and easy to use. They also enable you to match with people without the fear of rejection that comes with approaching someone in-person. But there are very good reasons for looking beyond dating apps, too. Let’s explore a few of them.
There’s no question about it: Dating apps have revolutionized dating. But they tend to prioritize quick, casual encounters. Think about it. When you’re on an app, you typically glance quickly at a profile, read about somebody’s interests, look at a picture or two, and then you move on. Then, even if this match results in a date, that date can be marred by the awareness that you have an abundance of other options waiting for you in your phone. Apps can make it hard for you to find someone who really gets you because they encourage you not to take the time to build something lasting.
Meeting someone offline, in the real world, has a certain intangible quality. Something clicks; you feel a spark with someone that there’s simply no way to replicate in an online interaction. This initial attraction can go a long way toward building your connection. Meeting offline also helps you get to know the person in a genuine way more quickly.
If you’re gay – or otherwise a member of the LGBTQ+ community – and you’re looking for a committed partnership that starts offline, you should consider diving into activities in your community. That’s a sure way to meet people who understand where you’re coming from.
Events and social gatherings in the LGBTQ+ community provide a great opportunity to meet like-minded folks – and to maybe meet your future partner. Check out a Pride event or find a queer-friendly book club. Go to a gay bar, even! Look up events online. The point is that you find ways to socialize with fellow members of your community. That way, you can strike up connections in an organic way.
The LGBTQ+ community is involved in a number of great causes that fight for their rights and the rights of all people. They’re also active in nonprofit and other community spaces. Volunteering with some of these groups is a great way to meet people and to feel good about the difference you’re making. It’s also a great way to find someone who shares your goals and values. And, who knows, you might just find someone looking for the same kind of long-term commitment you’re looking for.
There are also a lot of social groups specifically geared toward LGBTQ+ folks with shared interests. Join a queer book club. Play sports with other LGBTQ+ people. Join an LGBTQ+ running group. The options abound. Joining a group or club is a great way to meet people on the common ground of a shared interest and to allow a deeper bond to flourish.
Here’s a strategy that’s so obvious it can be easy to forget: Ask your friends to introduce you to someone! After all, your friends know you, and they will have a good idea of who will be a good fit for you.
Don’t be afraid to let your friends and acquaintances know you’re looking for a relationship. They know you, and they can think about whether they know anyone with whom you’d be a good fit. Plus, getting connected through friends is a kind of pre-screening–at the very least, you know the person you’re about to meet is a good person and has good intentions. So, don’t be shy. Tell your friends what you’re looking for, and let them support you!
If you want to find a partner, you’ve got to get out there! When your friends invite you to parties and other gatherings, be sure to go. Such events give you a low stakes, natural setting to connect with others, meet new people, and maybe find a partner. Small gatherings are great environments for getting into deep, meaningful conversations, too.
If these other options aren’t your cup of tea, or they haven’t worked so far, you might want to consider professional matchmaking services.
The beauty of gay matchmakers is the personal touch. No algorithm can be an adequate substitute for the intuition of a real human person, giving feedback based on your preferences, values, and dreams. A gay matchmaker will take the time to get to know you and introduce you to other people who are looking for the kind of commitment you’re looking for. This saves you time and effort, and it ensures that you’re only spending time with people who are serious about a relationship as you are.
If you’ve decided to go the matchmaker route, it’s important to find a good one! Find a matchmaker with extensive experience in the LGBTQ+ community, someone who will understand the unique challenges faced by members of that community. Before signing up, ask the prospective matchmaker about their approach and about their track record of success.
Last but not least, a great way to find a committed partner is, paradoxically, to focus on your own personal growth and interests.
When you grow personally–developing your own interests–you’re likely to meet other fellow travelers, people who share your passions and with whom you can form a meaningful bond. Maybe you’re a writer; sign up for a writing class! Maybe you love pickup basketball. Well, join a league! Follow your interests wherever they lead you, and you’re sure to meet people who are well worth your time.
Investing in yourself is a great way to attract the right partner. When you’re your best self, others will be drawn to you. Moreover, doing things that are good for you–working out, pursuing educational goals, investing in your career–make you feel good about yourself! This will give you confidence to go out there and find someone who adds value to your life.
Tawkify’s personalized matchmaking services are designed to help you find a committed partner without the hassle of dating apps. Our matchmakers get to know you on a deep level, ensuring that they introduce you to people who are aligned with your values and relationship goals. Let Tawkify help you find someone who’s looking for the same level of commitment you are—without endless swiping.
While I’m happy to work for people of all walks of life here at Tawkify, I spent the very first few years concentrating exclusively on matching gay men. I’ve worked for gay men of every shape, color, age, and net worth across the US, and I’ve learned a lot. I’ve observed trends in thought and […]
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